What does the future have in store for you? Aries (March 21 – April 20) Life has been very much an uphill struggle recently. You have made progress but it has been long and hard, without a Knut of reward for all this effort. Your planetary prognosis states that the worst is yet to come. So, suck it up, you wimp. Taurus (April 21 – May 20) You feel that you haven’t gone anywhere nor done anything. And, yes, of course, you feel cheated. That’s because you haven’t gotten off your lazy butt since Pluto aligned with Mars. And the person who you think is your closest friend thinks that your last purchase at Diagon Alley was tacky. It’s time to get a life (and maybe a better fashion sense). Gemini (May 21 – June 21) The trouble is that when you are surrounded by things that make no sense, it is very hard to plan an intelligent strategy. But then, it’s always been like that for you, hasn’t it? Watch out for nasty curses sent by owl post telling you of your stupidity. Cancer (June 22 – July 22) Some of your conversations lately have been annoying, to say the least. Don’t worry though, it’s you not those who you are talking to - no point in getting new friends, mate. But why don’t you just shut up for once and give us some peace? Leo (July 23 – Aug 22) Many people in the rest of the Zodiac are finding the current astrological climate frustrating. Your problems, however, stem less front direct celestial influence and more from the severely disgruntled people around you. Your own outlook is looking very fortunate. Try your luck at betting on the next Quidditch match. Virgo (August 23-Sept 22) It’s good to know that we live in a world of infinite possibility. It’s also good to know that this month is positive for you. But how can you possibly find one thing that is ever going to make you happy or fulfilled? Fourteen words: Madam Malkin’s robes which are spangled, self-ironing, beautifying, slimming, fattening, lengthening, temperature-adjusting, and plain. Libra (Sept 23 – Oct 23) There are some celestial suggestions that you’ll soon do well romantically. Venus remains in an air sign and this is one of the most fortunate planetary placements you can ever enjoy. So, enjoy it while it lasts ‘cause next month’s a brutal one. Scorpio (Oct 24 – Nov 22) Get a grip on your activities or you may find yourself on top of Mt Everest with no wand, a Chimaera and no one will ever see you again. Hmm – what a good idea. Ah, I see a long-distance journey in your tea leaves, my dear. Sagittarius (Nov 23 – Dec 21) Some people have criticized you for reasons that are wildly unfair and inaccurate. Good for them, you deserved it after how you’ve been acting lately. However, there are more people under your spell (hopefully not literally because the Imperius Curse is illegal) right now than not, so use your charm this month and ignore the dragons. Capricorn (December 22 – Jan 20) Urgent decisions need to be made. Make them fast or suffer the consequences: a nice little chat with the goblins of Gringotts. Aquarius (Jan 21 – Feb 19) Try to resist going outside on the 15th. You are at risk of getting bit by a Billywig. Don’t worry too much though. Some strong celestial factors will ensure your eventual return back to the ground (in more ways than one). Pisces (Feb 20 – March 20) I see the Grim. I am very, very sorry but I am too overwhelmed to continue writing. Merlin save you. |