Is prominent Slytherin student, Draco Malfoy, 15, losing his touch? We know him as the perfectly loathsome offspring of Lucius Malfoy and as Harry Potter’s nemesis. By pulling nasty pranks on Potter and his acquaintances, cheating, lying, scheming, and basically going to any means to get his way, he lives up to the Malfoy name. Or so we thought. One of the last times we remember seeing young Malfoy would be at the end of his fifth year at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Luna Lovegood, a reliable source, tells us that apparently a Bat Bogey Hex was placed on Draco Malfoy. “What’s more,” she added, “Ginny Weasley (fourth year at that time) put it on him! His face was such a mess after that!” Perhaps he was caught off-guard and was the unfortunate victim of this prank hex, but it seems very unlikely. “Y’know, I really think he is becoming a bit soft,” a young man with red hair comments. “He plays his usual tricks on my friends and me, but not as many lately, I guess. I mean, last year, he was totally sucking up to Professor Umbridge! Sure, all students suck up to teachers just a little, but Malfoy was so good at it that Umbridge basically told us all that Malfoy was her favorite and in her opinion, the best student at Hogwarts! Bullocks to that, I tell you! But yeah, it’s pretty pathetic if you have to suck up to teachers to feel like you’re important. Even more so if it’s a ‘teacher’ like Umbridge,” he scoffed. The latest image of Draco Malfoy available to public shows him in a new hairstyle that may take some getting used to, but in the photo, he is apparently blowing an origami crane off his hand. The reason behind this action is unknown as of now, though many speculations as to what its purpose is have been made. “Maybe he just likes origami,” a bushy-haired girl remarks. “It’s very relaxing you know, and it’s a nice hobby that doesn’t require much time. Or talent.” “I thought that thing was a fish,” Hogwarts gamekeeper Hagrid sheepishly tells us. “What? Did the poor boy run out of hair gel?” Was a query asked by many. But the most original one, uttered by a young Slytherin fan with a weird whipped cream and leather pants fetish: “Wouldn’t it be cool if he was actually blowing kisses?” After taking this into consideration, it just may be true! Hogwarts is the school of magic, isn’t it? Perhaps the paper crane was floating through the air— being controlled by someone else at the same moment the picture was taken while young Malfoy was blowing kisses. And yet another question: To whom was he blowing these kisses, if he was blowing kisses at all? And there you have it! Is Malfoy mellowing out, or have we just jumped to conclusions about the malevolent young Malfoy? No one’s sure of the answer to that yet, but stay tuned to The Quibbler for upcoming issues clearing up questions regarding this article! |