Muggle movie opinions Troy: Starring Brad Pitt, Eric Bana, Orlando Bloom, Sean Bean, Diane Kruger, and Peter O’Toole. Total Running time: 163 minutes Rating: R for violence and some nudity/adult situations Rita’s Rating*: Impedimenta!!! *: Rita’s Rating system is based on certain spells in the wizarding world: Excellent: Expecto Patronum! (pure happy thoughts) Good: Cheering Charms (just makes you laugh) Better than Average: Wingardium Leviosa (done properly at times it lifts the spirits) Average: Lumos (bright in some parts, dark in others) Below Average: Impedimenta (some hindrances here and there) Poor: Cruciatus (causes some rather immense pain and suffering) Terrible: Avada Kedavra (just kill me, already!) Beware the Trojan’s Ball of Yarn! and other muggle nonsense. Here in the wizarding world, we are no stranger to anticipation. Since the recent revelations about You-Know-Who, edge of your wand action is to be expected and perhaps even feared. But in the world of the muggles (whom, thanks to the delightful editors of this magazine, I have been privileged to visit) anticipation often resides in fantastic forms of entertainment such as books, television (a sort of make-believe portrait box) and films. These films, grandiose presentations of stories which appear in large theatres (to which masses of Muggles flock every weekend) play very much like an enchanted storybook. Although muggles do not practice magic, at least not in the wizarding sense, I was rather impressed to find that they do have a magic all there own. Using what they have dubbed “special effects”, muggles are able to create worlds from their imaginations that even wizards might have a hard time emulating. They then play them out on a large screen in front of large groups, hoping to secure some kind of applause or reflection from the viewers. One particular season dominates the “film” industry—the summertime, when those who produce the films (known as “studios”) release their most anticipated stories. These films are meant to astound with their use of special effects, storytelling, and acting, and leave the audience riveted and thoroughly entertained for at least two hours before they go back to their humdrum, boring, muggle-led excuses for lives. This year, the first of these highly anticipated summer “blockbusters” (why they are called this, I know not, as they do not break any blocks) is Troy, an epic saga based on The Iliad, a famous, ancient Grecian poem by muggle author Homer. Starring muggle actors Brad Pitt, Eric Bana, Orlando Bloom, and Peter O’Toole, the story tells of the famous Greek warrior Achilles, and his quest to conquer the walled city of Troy, enemy to the unsteadily allied Greek nation. Complicating Achilles’ quest is his dislike of the Grecian pseudo-king, the greedy Agamemnon, as well as an odd bond with the niece of the Trojan King, the priestess Briseis. From the beginning, Troy attempts to weave the complicated workings of Homer’s epic into a film that reflects the poem’s unique blend of action, comedy, drama, and pathos. But try as it might, it never quite gets there. Troy tries to humanize the war story by presenting it through the life of Achilles, remaining true to the nature of the Iliad. But the story unravels as the filmmakers try and decide what exactly motivates him to do—well—basically anything. Does he fight for glory? Honor? Rememberance of a name? The love of a cousin? The love of a woman? Even Achilles himself seems confused, as he races through the climactic battle scenes at the end, searching for something he never seems to be able to find. While Mr. Pitt does a fine job pouting as the great Greek warrior, his performance suffers significantly as he wavers between the conflicted soul he wants Achilles to be and the powerful hero he's supposed to be. Whether he is a truly great man worthy of rememberance is still a question at the end of the movie; he certainly doesn't seem to earn the title as Hector, or even his young cousin Patroclus, do. And as he spends most of the movie brooding in the shadows, he's rarely given the chance to shine in battle. Instead, his spoiled nature and shallow habits weaken his appearance, and often send the other Greeks skittering for reactions--most of which are overblown and one-dimensional, at best. All save Odysseus, played by Sean Bean, who brings the only hint of humanity, intellect, and realism to the Greek’s muddled cause. And while arguments can be made that Achilles was conflicted on heroism even in The Iliad, he also had ten years to prove his fighting prowess--whileas in Troy he has, at most, two weeks. The truest performances come out of the Trojan camp, where the ever noble Prince Hector, played brilliantly by Eric Bana, worries on the fates of his people as well as his own family. Hector was strong as an opponent to Achilles, but Troy makes him the unsung hero of the piece, however inadvertent that might have been. Even his brother Paris, played with beautiful, tragic foppery by Orlando Bloom, elicits a greater deal of respect than he ever deserved in Homer’s epic. Bloom’s subtle, wistful gazes mark him as a charismatic actor despite his big-budget movie roster; lines that would be considered fluffy in any other actor’s hands become lyrical when he recites them. And despite the attempt by Homer to epitomize him as the working example of what a hero should not be, Troy turns him into a character the audience hopes will overcome his weaknesses—and one they will like in the end. O’Toole, as the ever wide-eyed Priam, elicits a great deal of his Shakespearean know-how to make the Trojan King the only true reflection of the spirit of Greek drama. Visually, Troy has its stunning CGI moments and jaw-dropping battle sequences—the sheer number of people that both armies possess is mind blowing at times—but the battle action is terribly hindered by the plot development, leaving the actual fighting limited and sparse. Not to mention brief—the filmmakers take a 10 year war and condense it into about 16 days of fighting--and never really make use of the extras they cast. Then, there are the extras plot points outside The Iliad—knife wielding maidens, secret passages, and great flying balls of yarn that burn the Greeks to cinders—all of which hinder the ultimate effect of the story. As does the musical score, which features some beautiful motifs for both sides of the battle—and often chooses to use them at the most inappropriate times. Overall, however, the argument can be made that Troy is worth seeing, if not for the appearance of it onscreen, then for the subtle charms of Bana, Bean, Bloom, and Burrows—as in Saffron Burrows, Hector’s beautiful, devoted wife, Andromache (Luke and Matthew Tal, the infants who portray his son Scamandrius, deserves an honorary Oscar© just for being able to look dotingly on their father and then cry on cue). It is their performances which truly redeem the piece, and make it enjoyable, despite the honest attempts on Pitt’s part to humanize his character. And while Achilles’ ultimate fate might (confusedly) justify the conflict within the character, it leaves the audience wondering whether or not it was worth it. Which is pretty much the same sentiment they’ll leave the theatre with as well. |