Quibbler speaks out With the muggle version of Harry Potter's third year approaching its film debut, one has to wonder about the poor, mistreated Blast-Ended Skrewts. In the fall of 1994, the Grounds Keeper at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, Rubeus Hagrid, attempted to breed a new type of species that is a crossing of the Manticore and the Fire-Crab. Now, you may not know what a Skrewt is because it is not a part of the popular magical bestiary Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them by Newt Scamander. However, this new species does deserve some recognition and respect in both the Wizarding and Muggle worlds. Once you get past the slimy, deformed, shell-less bodies, legs at odd angles and the strong smell of rotten fish, one can really enjoy the presence of these lovable creatures -- believe me. Draco Malfoy, a student of Hagrid's fifth year class, pointed this out good-naturedly last year: "I can certainly see why we're trying to keep them alive. Who wouldn't want pets that can burn, sting and bite all at once?” Over the course of a Blast-Ended Skrewts short life, it endures inevitable starvation and malnutrition due to a non-apparent mouth. It is believed that, due to these terrible conditions, the Skrewts have become aggressive and have been attacking and killing their own kind. Rubeus Hagrid bred a few hundred Skrewts back in 1994 but it seems that there were only a mere dozen that survived to the following years. Even after all of these appalling circumstances, the noble and honourable Skrewts were forced to take part in the third Harry Potter film. An evil man and director, Alfonso Cuaron, was seen smuggling a few of these poor creatures to the set of his film. Rumours say that they have been mistreated by various actors such as Daniel Radcliffe, Tom Felton and Emma Watson. One TQ writer claims that she saw actress Bonnie Wright dressing the Blast-Ended Skrets in black leather pants and pink cardigans. If such things are happening to the skrewts now, it is solemn to think of what they will do when the fourth movie comes out; it has been announced that the skrewts will take part in the fourth movie. We must speak out for the rights of these adorable, distorted creatures who cannot speak for themselves. If you would like to support the Blast-Ended Skrewts in their pursuit to find a better life, owl these various Ministry representatives with your opinions on this matter. Cornelius Fudge Minister of Magic The Loo near the Atrium The Ministry of Magic Dolores Jane Umbridge Undersecretary to the Minister The 4th Bed on the Right Hospital Wing Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry Percy Weasley * Junior Assistant to the Minister The Office of Percy Weasley The Ministry of Magic * Please note: All howlers should be directed to Percy Weasley, thank you. |