You've got to be kidding me... After waiting in line for three hours behind bloody muggles, sitting impatiently in the theatre (in the front row which happens to be the worst place to sit) and having the back of our chairs kicked constantly, the TQ writers had to come back after the opening day of Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban. The latest edition of the muggle Harry Potter films have intrigued Wizards and Muggles alike as well as our writers here at The Quibbler. While watching a later screening, one that contained much less rabid and slightly obsessive muggles, the TQ staff noticed that there had been quite a few fruits on screen. And we do mean the eating type. It seems that Alfonso Cuaron enjoys apples as much as he enjoys directing. Quite a few of his actors were seen eating them during the film. Draco Malfoy (Tom Felton) and Remus Lupin (David Thewlis) were both portrayed doing just this in two of their respective scenes. Even though one was red and, the other green, some off our less sane staff members believed that this fruit was some kind of symbolism. After a lengthy discussion, we came to a consensus that this indeed was true (to some extent). The theory we came up with was that the apples represented death; a sad and dreary outlook for these character's muggle fans and for the real wizards as well. One writer told us a story about a princess, a witch and a poisoned apple. Supposedly, the princess died (or fell asleep, I wasn't listening) when she ate it. Will Mr. Malfoy and Mr. Lupin suffer from murder by poison in the near future? To our knowledge, Cuaron is not a wizard, so, he has no means of seeing the future and, therefore, our theory has no support. Suddenly we realized: if Cauron is not a wizard, how does he know every detail about our world and the life of Mr. Potter? This is one major flaw we believe that the Ministry should investigate! After a short yet meaningful chat about the pointy hoods on the Hogwarts school robes, one of us believed that the apples represented trapped animals within the men we were speaking of. The trapped animal in Remus Lupin is obvious. Yet this odd and just plain weird theory seemed not to apply to Mr. Malfoy. Two of our The most popular theory among The Quibbler's staff was that Cuaron's writers were suffering from the dreaded and inevitable literary syndrome that is "writer's block" and had nothing better to put into their screenplay. We imagined them in their tiny offices using muggle contraptions, eating apples and banging their heads on their desks for ideas. We laughed for a bit about this but who in the world could put down the brilliant writers who wrote the "we'll live in the country" line? The Quibbler could. Honestly, what kind of writers write that bleeding line?! And did you see the crying scene? What kind of -- This section of this article was cut short by the Press Decree 22 which limits the amount of foul language published in a Wizarding magazine. This particular paragraph exceeded that amount. -- So, now you know why I believe that there is such a thing as Nargles. And you all know the cure for writer's block. Remember what I said: don't add any gray Bertie Bott's. Bad for the stomach. Anyway, what was I talking about? Oh, yes! Apples. I really don't think they mean anything. They're just a fruit for Merlin's sake. My writers are mad. Maybe I should sack a few of them. |